Miriam's Downfall
by kyekye
Summary: She didn't mean to get to this point in her life she wanted to do so much more with her life but the guilt wouldn't leave her alone ... crap summary but I think the title explains it all read and enjoy


Kyekye - So I know I'm hard on the Pataki family in almost all of my stories so I decide to change it up a bit but not really. This will also be very random and might be a little confusing to most...it's supposed to be choppy there are a lot of time jumps as well and they will be in order but random at the same time

I just confused myself, oh well this will be the longest one-shot I ever made I hope you all enjoy it

Miriam looked down at the little stick in her hand in Horror, this couldn't be happening Olga was already 10 and she can't even remember the last time She had sex with Bob. The last thing she needs is this it had to be a false positive

Throwing down the stick she picks up another and squats over the toilet with the new stick in between her legs a few minutes later she is back in the same position looking down at the little white stick that has a glaring plus sign

She lets out a shuddering breath and looks into the medicine cabinet looking at the various pills in deep thought...shaking her head she leaves the bathroom to tell her 'HUSBAND' god how that word kills her. She hasn't loved Robert Pataki in years and really only stayed with him for Olga

Miriam had been saving up her money to leave Bob when Olga turned 18 she only had eight years left now she's stuck for another 18 years with BOB. Sure she could just get rid of it and never tell Bob and still hold out for another eight years

But Miriam knew she could never do that this...this thing growing inside her didn't ask for this and it's not its stupid fault. Seeing Bob in his chair she throws the stick at him. Bob catches it and looks down Suddenly he starts to laugh the sound of those barks he calls laughter makes Miriam want to rip her ears off. What was it she saw in him all of those years ago? Now everything about him just disgusts her

"I knew you were pregnant! Haha I'm finally about to get my son" He yells

Miriam shakes her head "Whatever you say Bob" walking into the kitchen Miriam looks at the liquor shelf the vodka was calling her name as it always did after talking with Bob, but now she can't even use that as an escape

skip

7 months later Miriam finds herself hunched over the toilet for the...well she has lost count of how many times she had thrown up during this pregnancy. She was never this sick when she was pregnant with Olga, and it just won't stop.

it figures Bob's oh so precious son would give her problems the entire pregnancy! She can already tell this child is gonna be a pain in her ass just like his father. He never stops moving and the kicks are so hard it feels like her ribs have been broken from the inside and he never lets her eat the only thing Miriam can eat without running to the toilet is blueberries and BBQ Ribs

Miriam Hates blueberries always has as a child she would throw them at people just to get rid of them so why the hell do they taste so good right now? Bob walks into the kitchen seeing Miriam eating the dreaded blueberries "Hey give my son some meat he needs it so he can be big and strong like his old man" Bob yells throwing down a plate of burgers in front of Miriam

Miriam had, had just about enough not only is the baby kicking the hell out of her ribs but Bob is trying to force feed her something she really doesn't want how many times does she have to tell him she wants ribs, not burgers and definitely not those burnt hockey pucks he had placed in front of her

"BOB I DON'T WANT YOUR BURNT BURGERS FOR THE LAST TIME JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! AUGH!" Miriam screams as sharp pains shutter thought her body as her stomach seemed to be squeezing into itself and her pelvis felt like it was trying to separate its self from the rest of her body

Miriam clutches her stomach and starts to hunch over "OH DEAR GOD BOB CALL THE HOSPITAL"

Bob's face turns and off shade of green mixed with red and he was kinda pale like he didn't know whether to be grossed out angry or scared "B..but your only 7 months along i..ts to soon"

Miriam grabs Bob by the front of his shirt "take me to the hospital NOW!"

Bob nods furiously and 20 minutes later they were being led into a birthing chamber after the initial panic over the baby is a little over two months early the doctors got straight to work performing the emergency c-section

1 hour later Miriam is being helped sit up in her hospital bed by the nurse who was smiling at her sweetly but Miriam could really care less the drugs in her system had her feeling so good right now "congratulations Mrs. Pataki you have a beautiful baby girl"

The world seemed to freeze at those words "excuse me what did you just say I must have heard wrong the medication has to be messing with my head right now"

The Nurse shakes her head her smiles now a bit more unsure before turning to pick up the way too tiny bundle from the glass container and laying the tiny bundle in Miriam's arms "Here is your baby girl "

Miriam's eyes lock on the again way too small bundle in her arms, she was sleeping so Miriam was able to get a good look at her face she had a lot of both her own and Bob's features. She had his brow and his nose she got her face and hair color from Miriam but it was a lot wavier than her own bone straight locks that Olga got from her. The child's ears were a bit too big for her head and Miriam knew it would take her a while to grow into them all in all this child that was in no way created from love was what one would call an ugly duckling

Miriam knew she should feel some kind of shame thinking that about her own child but she has spent the last 7 months cursing this child that was once inside her only for it to damn near kill her on the way out and to top it off its a girl, Miriam could already feel a headache forming when Bob catches wind of that little detail

The baby then starts to shift around and its eyes finally open at that moment Miriam's breath caught in her throat it was her mother's eyes staring back at her they were such a deep blue that Miriam felt like she was drowning. Her mother's eyes were back in the form of her youngest daughter, they were back and they were judging her

Miriam vaguely remembers the Nurse taking the baby with her mother's eyes out of her arms and placing it back in the crib. But Miriam didn't care she needed to be numb so she quickly pressed the button for painkillers and was off to la la land

skip

6 months later Helga as Bob named her even though Miriam had wanted to name her after her mother... Was finally released from the hospital, and damn did that kid have some vocal cords she hasn't stopped crying since she got home and it was driving Miriam insane

The hospital took her painkillers away from her as they felt she was becoming too reliant on them. So what if the drugs were addictive they made her feel good made her feel numb made her not care, and these days what more can she ask for?

Miriam looks up at the liquor cabinet eyeballing the vodka and it was as if she was watching someone else do it her hand reached for the bottle and as soon as her fingertips touched it the kid took it upon her self to let out a piercing cry snapping her out of her stupor

skip

Miriam looks down at the envelope from the hospital and felt her own heart wrinkle what kind of mother was she how could she have forgotten. Miriam stands up throwing the envelope to the ground, sure Helga isn't a child she wanted but she's still her child.

Helga will never remember this she's still too young. But the guilt just won't stop, Miriam looks at the envelope on the ground and scowls before looking up to see Helga staring at her, those blue eyes of her youngest daughter seemed to say so much but nothing at all.

Miriam couldn't help it the scowl got bigger and Helga flinched away from her mother who was looking at her so scary. The scowl quickly faded away at the terrified look on the too small girl's face and Miriam takes a step forward and gathers the child in her arms whispering apologies in the little girl's ear, leaving behind the envelope with the words: HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY HELGA! Written in bold letters dated 3 weeks ago

skip

Miriam knows logically this isn't her fault a situation like this no one is really at fault it's not something that can really be prevented until you know about it, but sitting in the Hospital with her baby girl hooked up to machines that are helping her breath it's hard for her not to blame herself

Getting up out of the chair Miriam walks into the hall and ran into a man sitting with his head in his hands looking like he hasn't slept in weeks. He looks up at her with a weak smile "hey what you here for?"

Miriam runs her fingers through her blond locks and sits down next to the greasy man "Allergies she wanted blueberries but I hate blueberries so I made her eat a strawberry she was fine a strawberry ain't never hurt anyone so I left her there when I came back she was covered in a horrible rash and her whole face was blue she wasn't breathing and I couldn't get her to breath I didn't know what to do... I should have just let her have the blueberries"

The man frowns "but she's gonna be ok now right?" Miriam nods "then nothing to worry about"

A scowl takes over Miriam's face and she turns to the man "NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?! MY BABY ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF ME!" Miriam falls to the floor crying "I'm an awful mother"

The man just sits there quietly for a moment before pulling out a silver flask and putting in Miriam's hands "here you need this more than I do" the man then stands up and walks away

Miriam looks down at the flask in her hand and she knows that she should get rid of it but slowly she puts it to her lips and takes a drink. It was foul and burned her throat but damn if it didn't make her feel less guilty. Another drink and there was that numb feeling that she has been missing since they took her off of the pain meds

Before she knew it the flask was empty and Miriam was feeling very very good. Not even Bob barging into the hospital yelling at her about how much of a screw up she is fazed her right now. She vaguely remembers the doctors telling her about the care Helga was gonna need for the next however long she had to remain in the hospital.

But Miriam wasn't thinking about that no, yes she should have been more concerned with what the doctors were saying but the only thing she could focus on was the sweet numb feeling that went through her whole body. Just for today this was ok no one could really blame her it has been a stressful day so just for today she was gonna enjoy this feeling

skip

Olga was starting to notice…. the smell of alcohol on her breath was not easy to hide especially since she was drinking it straight. Miriam looks into the fridge and saw the one thing that brought her to this point in her life Strawberries. Miriam put the strawberries on the counter and stares at them, and some were in her sweet numb mind an idea forms. Miriam reaches and pulls out the blender and some ice it's time for mommy to start drinking her special smoothies

skip

Olga was playing the Piano she's so talented a lot like Miriam was at that age now this was a kid that could make a mother proud a concert pianist at 13 years old, and this chi..ahem teenager was the only good thing that came out of this marriage with Bob, and soon she will leave the home and leave her alone with BOB...and her smoothies

The Phone ringing woke her up from her nap on the kitchen table, picking it up Miriam places the phone at her ear "Hello" Inwardly Miriam winces and how her voice slurs but ultimately brushes it off

"Yes Hi is this the Pataki Household?"

Miriam nods before shaking her head to clear her thoughts "Yes this is who is this?"

"I am from Tiny Tots Preschool calling about your daughter"

Daughter? Olga was too old to be in preschool now so who was this woman talking about "Who?"

"Your Daughter Helga Pataki"

Oh right, Helga how could she forget about Helga. Miriam looks up at the calendar seeing the note about today being Helga's first day of preschool in Olga's handwriting "Oh right today was the first day of preschool right sorry Helga missed it we were busy she will be there tomorrow"

"Mrs. Pataki.."

Miriam could hear the frustration in the woman's voice and just knows this woman is frustrated with her response "Miriam Please no Mrs. Pataki just Miriam"

"Fine Miriam are you telling me you didn't know that Helga was at school right now?"

"SHe is? Oh, I guess my husband must have dropped her off while I was resting. If she's at school why are you calling me?"

"Miriam school ended hours ago when are you coming to pick up Helga?"

Miriam looks up at the clock to see that it was almost 5 pm preschool ended at 3 "Oh My I'm so sorry I'm on my way right now I simply lost track of time and the day just got away from me"

The teacher on the Phone lets out a long sigh " it's fine just don't let this become a normal occurrence" without waiting on a response the woman hangs up the phone

Skip

Miriam pulls up to the preschool and makes sure she looks presentable before throwing a hand full of mints in her mouth but before she can make the effort to get out of the car Helga jumps in and slams the door. Miriam turns around to look at her youngest daughter and to her surprise, she was covered in dried mud that looked like someone tried to wipe off

"Helga honey why are you covered in mud? Did the teacher let you play outside in this weather that's really irresponsible of her you could have gotten sick"

Helga looks up at Miriam and she had to flinch back at the scowl on her youngest daughters face, and the lack of warmth in the eyes so like her mothers "OH so now you care about me?"

"Wh..what do you mean Helga, of course, I care about you… I'm so sorry I was late picking you up I just lost track of time" Helga's eyes narrow and she turns away. Miriam clears her throat and starts driving home "So uh your dad took you to school this morning right? I don't remember you leaving"

"Of course you don't you were to busy with OLGA to even pay attention to me like always. So I walked to school that's why I'm covered in the mud"

Miriam slams on the breaks skidding in the wet roads "Wait your dad didn't take you to school?"

Helgas scowl deepens "what does it look like?" with a sigh Helga turns to look back out the window "just take me home so you can get back to the daughter you actually care about"

Miriam frowns to herself as she starts the car back up and heads back to the house guilt flooding her veins again. Although Helga wasn't created out of love; Miriam never meant to make the girl feel like she wasn't loved as much as her sister. Once they pull into the yard Miriam turns to Helga only to see the car door closing in her face

With a sigh and a shake, Miriam follows Helga into the house "Helga Honey please " Helga pauses on her accent on the stairs "I know we focus a lot on Olga but you know we love you just as much as we do her"

With her back still turned Helga whispers "Prove it"

Miriam looks on startled "what?"

Helga snaps around with a challenging look in her eye "I said Prove it, its parents day at school next Friday I want you there"

Miriam smiles and runs her fingers through the wavy blond locks of her youngest daughter her favorite past time activity. Helga's wavy locks are so much softer and much more beautiful than Her own and Olga's strait coarse locks "You don't have to worry about a thing my little Dina I promise I'll be there"

Skip '

Miriam stumbles into the house at 2 in the morning pulling off her heels Olga's concert ran late with three extensions Bob and Olga stayed behind but Miriam told them they couldn't leave Helga all night by herself so she came home and promptly landed face down on the couch fast asleep

What felt like minutes later Miriam felt a tugging on her arm "Leave me alone and let me sleep" she grumbles turning her head away the tugging became insistent and Miriam just knew it was Bob trying to wake her up to feed him so with eyes still closed she wandered into the kitchen and makes her self a smoothie sans the Alcohol for once and a quick bacon and eggs plate for Bob before falling asleep on the table full smoothie glass on the table in front of her

Skip

The Slam of the front door wakes Miriam from her nap and she looks towards the door to see Helga standing there with an unreadable expression on her face "Hi honey 'yawn' why are you slamming the doors?"

Helga throws a piece of balled up paper at Miriam that smacks her in the face. Miriam grabs the paper and reads it and pales the paper read Welcome Parents to Parent Day! Miriam looks at the time to see its late in the afternoon "Oh Helga Honey I'm so sor…."

"Save your sorry for someone who cares like Olga cause I'm done listening to your empty promises I'm just done" Helga whispers turning away

Miriam jumps from the table "Helga Please "

"Just leave me alone Miriam!" Helga yells and runs to her room leaving her mother collapsed to the ground in shock this was the first time that Helga had ever called her by her first name and she was sure it wouldn't be her last

She needed to fix this but Helga was so mad and reminded her so much of Bob in that moment that MIriam couldn't help herself and the tears fell from her eyes and she went to the only thing in her life that gave her comfort anymore and with in moments she was once again asleep with her smoothie spilling over the table

Helga then pokes her head into the kitchen like she has so many times before and like she will do many times in the future and shakes her head "I knew she didn't care"


End file.
